Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
اين پست رو فارسي نوشتم چون ميخوام به عنوان شروعي دوباره اين خبر رو بدم كه اگه خدا بخواد مجددا شروع به كار اين وبلاگ رو اعلام كنم. از تمام كساني كه تو اين مدت اومدن و از وبلاگ ويزيت كردن پوزش ميخوام. اميدوارم بتونم يه قدم كوچك اما اين بار استوار براي پيشرفت زبان در بين كساني كه واقعا دوسش دارن بردارم. ضمنا منو همچون گذشته از نظرات خوب و مفيدتون محروم نكنيد موفق و پيروز باشيد مهران پردل امروز دیگه حوصله نوشتن مطلب انگلیسی نداشتم دیگه نمیدونم یه جورایی خسته شدم از این که هر روز یه چیز جدید میشنوم از یه جای جدید. یه روز از کمپانی فیلم سازی برادران وارنر که میان یه فیلم مسخره میسازند به نام ۳۰۰ یه روز دیگه یاهو میاد اسم ما رو از تو لیست کشوراش حذف میکنه و امروزم شرکتی به بزرگی گوگل میاد اشتباهی رو که چندین باره تو این سالها دارن شرکتهای مختلف انجام میدن دوباره انجام میده و اونم تغییر نام خلیج فارس به خلیج عربیه. واقعا نمی دونم چی بگم و کی رو باعث همچین حرکاتی بدونم. اگه تعداد آرای مخالفین این نام به مرز یک میلیون برسه شرکت گوگل مجبور میشه به خاطر حفظ اعتبارش نام رو تغییر بده و به خلیج فارس تبدیل کنه. فقط می تونم خواهش کنم که یه کم فکر کنیم به این که کجا بودیم و به کجا داریم میریم. آآآی کورورش!!! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.۱ If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, ۱ you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.۱ If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.1 Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. ۱ My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.1 wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in,۱ leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. ۱ I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...1 phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message , but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.1 right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.1 right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back later. BEEP. (Pause three seconds.) Just kidding, that wasn't really the beep. ۱ Are you ready now?1 Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?۱ Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. ۱ I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does...۱ the line, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. ۱ Worst Muzak possible. Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us.۱ Please continue to hold. Or, if your little emergency isn't too serious, leave a message at the tone, and one of our crisis operators will call you back. ۱ Have a nice day.۱ very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.۱ Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message,۱ and if I don't call back, it's you.۱ Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?۱ Hello. Here are my answers to last week's messages, in order of their arrival.۱ Yes. Maybe. At seven. You'll get it tomorrow. For sure. Get me that phone number. Thanks, I take my messages on Mondays.۱ Hello, we are all currently home, but someone stole our phone...۱ And the recording tape from this answering machine. So you can't reach us until we either find a phone or get a tape. If you had to waste a quarter on this call... Sorry.۱ Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.۱ Ready? GO!!! What position are you in?1 If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!1 Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?1 question right. Maybe.1 Third Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 1 NO! Of course it isn't.1 Her name is Mary. Read the question again!1 action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?1 A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room Why are you down here at this time of night? The husband looks up Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says: "I would have gotten out today!"d Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?1"۱ Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."1 God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that.Come and sit at my left."۱ God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"۱ Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. ۱ I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."۱ God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."۱ God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"۱ "I believe you're in my chair.۱"
As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Bill says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.
Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?" "Steve's wife gave it to me."
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
Bill says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow.'"
She said, "No, I'm not a widow."
And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"1
The Italian was first: 'I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself,I hope it will be a pink day
The French was next: 'I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV
Last was the Iranian: 'I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone 'green green', I 'pink' up the phone and I say 'Yellow
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on,۱
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the
Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight
Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in
Thank you for calling 911. All of our operators are currently busy. Please stay on
Please leave a tone after the message.۱
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak
First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person.1
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!1
Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you
took for the first question, OK ?1
Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?1
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.
Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last
3Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?1
Answer: Did you Answer Nunu?1
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the
Answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple...1
A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber
Can you guess?g
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Do you know the answer?g
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Come on! think like an Iranian...g
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A dozen Iranians (all with BMWs or Mercedes Benzs) waiting for a free haircut!g
نوشته شده در سه شنبه بیست و سوم تیر 1388ساعت
11:43 توسط مهران پردل| |
An Italian, French and Iranian went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose sentences in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow
نوشته شده در جمعه بیست و دوم خرداد 1388ساعت
20:29 توسط مهران پردل| |
با سلام خدمت تمامي خوانندگان وبلاگ دنياي انگليسي
نوشته شده در جمعه بیست و دوم خرداد 1388ساعت
19:58 توسط مهران پردل| |
سلام خدمت تمامی خوانندگان محترم این وبلاگ
نوشته شده در یکشنبه بیست و پنجم فروردین 1387ساعت
20:14 توسط مهران پردل| |
نوشته شده در جمعه نهم فروردین 1387ساعت
16:27 توسط مهران پردل| |
نوشته شده در دوشنبه بیست و هفتم اسفند 1386ساعت
16:36 توسط مهران پردل| |
To fall in love
To laugh until it hurts your stomach
To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation
To go for a vacation to some pretty place
To listen to your favorite song in the radio
To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside
To leave the! shower and find that the towel is warm
To clear your last exam
To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to
To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year
To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces
Calls at midnight that last for hours
To laugh without a reason
To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you
To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours
To hear a song that makes you remember a special person
To be part of a team
To watch the sunset from the hill top
To make new friends
To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person
To pass time with your best friends
To see people that you like, feeling happy
To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume
See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed
To take an evening walk along the beach
To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you
To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ...... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends
These are the best moments of life
Let us learn to cherish them
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a gift to be enjoyed
نوشته شده در سه شنبه هفتم اسفند 1386ساعت
9:25 توسط مهران پردل| |
نوشته شده در شنبه بیستم بهمن 1386ساعت
22:38 توسط مهران پردل| |
نوشته شده در جمعه پنجم بهمن 1386ساعت
19:33 توسط مهران پردل| |
There is a good old barber in some city in the US . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. f
After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept
money from you. I am doing community service."g
The florist is happy and leaves the shop.g
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his door.g
replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."g
The cop is happy and leaves the shop.g
The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen
donuts waiting at his door.g
An Irnian software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. f
But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing community service."g
The Iranian software engineer is happy and leaves.g
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there?g
نوشته شده در سه شنبه هجدهم دی 1386ساعت
11:9 توسط مهران پردل| |
